hashtag_chocobro | Room 303; Saturday Afternoon [05/25].

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Room 303; Saturday Afternoon [05/25].

Well, this week had been one hell of a ride, hadn't it? Prompto always did have a problem with getting all wrapped up in his own head sometimes, but last weekend and the events that followed meant that he'd been mired in even deeper than usual. And, in light of certain events, he found himself in a situation where he couldn't just ignore and avoid certain people for their own damn good. Which meant that he'd have to do the other thing to do when things got like this, the thing he didn't really like to have to do, the thing he tried to avoid at all costs, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it was the right thing to do.

He really needed to talk about it.

And since treats always made talks easier, he remembered an unfulfilled idea to go get milkshakes at some point and latched onto that. Of course, getting around the island was a pain in the ass for nearly everyone except Sidon, and while the thought of commandeering Sidon for a trip had crossed his mind, he didn't even know whether any of the good milkshake spots in town were flooded or not, and he didn't want to bother with figuring it out when he could just make milkshakes himself and his room would be more private for all this crap, anyway. So, with more trouble than there should have been (he decided to blame class yesterday, somehow. After blending all those CDs, blending milk and ice cream and fruit seemed suspiciously smooth-going), he managed to make one strawberry one for Nina and one banana one (he was going for a yellow color, which he did not really get, but whatever), found fancy glasses to put them in, even whipped cream and a cherry (thanks, mysteriously accommodating refrigerator!), and then brought them back to his room where he could take a picture and send her a text:

If you're not up here in five minutes, I'm totally drinking your milkshake.

He figured that would do the trick, so he settled in comfortably on the floor, leaning against his bed, contemplating sending her a picture every minute or so with a little bit of her shake sipped away each time to prove that he was serious.

[[ mostly for the one, but can be open if anyone wants to swing by after Nina! And the fact that they met to talk about stuff is a-okay, but if the nitty-gritty deets of the convo could be NFB, I'd greatly appreciate it, squirrels! ]]

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"It must be," Nina said, studying him more seriously. "If we need to talk about it."

She was, honestly, a little frightened by that. This week had been so good to her, giving her both Vette as a sister (and, yes, she knew it was for a library card only, but it meant more than that to Nina) and then the gang, which bound her and Vette and Prompto together, forever, like they were all family.

They were all very dramatic diamonds, the name suited them perfectly, and it was perhaps silly... but that meant everything to Nina.

"We are unbreakable," she said, straightening her shoulders. "And I'm here whenever you need to talk. No matter what."

She was frightened by what he could say, but bravery had never been something Nina lacked.

And that cute little display of bravery in the face of Actually-Being-Serious-About-Something Prompto was encouraging, and probably exactly what Prompto needed for his own little push toward being brave himself. It would be easy to just back out of it, to make something up, to convince himself that she didn't need to be burdened by his problems or his sad stupid future, but it was more than that. And she did need to know, because if she didn't...

He'd gone over this so many times in his head already, so many different ways, but he still just didn't know where even to start.

"Okay," he ventured, "so...."

Seriously, where did you even start with something like that?

Probably with poor, unfortunate, definitely breakable him, really.

"It's probably safe to say that I wasn't fooling you at all with that whole 'I've got a cold' thing last weekend, right?"

Ohhhh, this was going to be fun.

Oh. Oh.

Already, Nina didn't like where this was going, because no, she hadn't been fooled, though she'd done little to admit that to anyone. She'd told Vette that he hadn't seemed well, but really, Vette had been more focused on being there for him, and hoping that would turn out right........... and even while she ready everything she could get her hands on, Nina had sort of been hoping, somehow, that maybe it was really just a cold.

Maybe even, like, a serious cold. Like, pneumonia or mono or bronchitis that would take their toll on someone and leave them sick for a good while, because she'd seen Prompto and the pictures showed he wasn't well, but in person............

"No," she said, "you didn't fool me."

Nina kind of wished he had, but...

"Right," Prompto breathed out a small laugh, to accompany a small little smile, "because you're too smart for that. Which is why it sort of blows my mind a little how someone so smart could still manage to do stuff that's really....like, pretty dumb."

And since he figured she'd immediately try to object to that, he tried to cut off her objections by forging forward with, "Hold on. I'm going to get there. In this future, what you did was dumb because you just didn't know, no one knew before it was too late, but now we do know, so maybe we can just manage to avoid it all together. Like, this weekend gave us the chance to change it, and the real dumb thing would be not using that.

"There's..." He sucked in a breath, bit his lip again, and, milkshake pretty much forgotten and abandoned on the floor beside him right then, his attention was mostly down toward his own lap, where he cradled one wrist in his other hand, rubbing a thumb against the leather straps there, "something wrong with me, Nina. Physically. I don't really want to talk about it, because I don't think I completely understand it myself, and a lot of my memories from last weekend are getting really blurry now, anyway. I don't know if that's just what happens with the possible future things or if it's just because my self-awareness is already changing things, or what, but the point is...no matter what happens, I'm....probably not going to make it too long. Which means..."

He forced himself to look up at her now, firmly, unfaltering. "It would be pretty dumb of someone to go and sacrifice herself to protect someone else who was going to die anyway, right?"

She was smart. She could put the pieces together.

He hoped. He wasn't sure he could bring himself to say it any more directly than that.

Nina's mouth had fallen open to protest, vociferously, about how stupid she was not when he ordered--him, ordering--her to hold on and the sheer surprise of that meant that, what else could she do but hear him out?

So, she listened, and she put the pieces together, slotting the pieces she'd picked up over the weekend--Owen had been angry at Prompto; Prompto had been so sad--and it, honestly, made the puzzle make a little more sense for two separate boys that she'd been worrying about.

(Owen was still not answering her voicemails............ but, no, she'd deal with one boy at a time.)

Nina was smart, she really was. And she got what Prompto was saying, she did.

But it was still really, really stupid of him.

Nina took a shaky breath, trying to think of how to put it, a way that would make him understand that, even if she had known, that older her, it would have changed nothing.

"It is pretty dumb," she said, her gaze trained firmly on a spot on the floor, on about three inches past her skirts, mostly so he wouldn't see that her eyes had filled with tears, "to expect me to stand back and just let someone I love die because they wouldn't have lived much longer anyway."

And that...that reaction, right there, was precisely why Prompto had been so convinced that it would be easier to just avoid her altogether, but then that plan had to go and get all ruined because she and Vette just had to insist on being friends, and, of course, how could he have said no to that? Maybe he should have. It was obviously too late now to go back on that. But if he was just honest and firm...and she wound up mad at him anyway for it, then...maybe it would just work itself out.

"No," he said, shaking his head a little. "It isn't dumb to expect that, especially not from someone so smart, especially when it's putting your own life in danger, Nina. Because...if we're going to do this thing, if we're going to stick together, I have to be able to know I can trust you to be smarter than that. I mean, how would you feel, if the roles were reversed? If it was me who went down in battle trying to protect you? Or if it was Vette who went down like that? And then you find out it was all just a waste? I'm telling you now so it doesn't have to be."

Edited 2019-05-25 20:36 (UTC)

"You-----"

That was it, right there, wasn't it? That was the difference between them and the difference between her and Vette too.

If she went down in battle, Nina was pretty sure they'd be upset (though, honestly, she did not understand how upset they would be, so this was a hazy, weirdly hopeful sort of guess) but both of them had piles of other people who loved them.

Nina had no one else. Vette could say her gang back home would love her, Nina, until the end of time and Prompto's gang of boys hadn't blocked her from contacting them, but they weren't hers and would probably never be. So it was really, really stupid for Prompto to try and put her death on par with the pain that his or Vette's would cause people.

Just... really, really stupid.

"I wouldn't deliberately set out to die," she said, since Nina could be dumb, but she wasn't that dumb. "But it's... it's like, if I saw someone take a swing at you and shouting at you that it was happening didn't work, then all the thinking in the world wouldn't stop me from trying to get there in time. I wouldn't be thinking 'Prompto's going to d-" her voice hitched, "d-die anyway, so don't bother. I'd just be thinking 'some total jerk is trying to hurt Prompto'."

Oof, that little hitch in her voice felt an awful lot like a stab to the gut, didn't it? It was so...weird, he felt fine now, but remembering that he hadn't...

"But you should be thinking 'some total jerk is trying to hurt Prompto, and he'll probably hurt me, too.' And if you....can't think of it like that, Nina, then I can't....then we shouldn't...I just can't let something like that happen, don't you see that?"

"No," she said, honestly bewildered at what she was supposed to be seeing. "I don't--how would I live with myself, if I didn't try to help?"

How could she, if her standing by and doing nothing meant he died?

"I'd... I'd rather die," she said, sounding very small and very young, though she didn't mean to. "You and Vette, so many people love you. I'd be careful, but if I had to pi... pick who lived and who died, between me and you or me and Vette, it would never be me."

Hardly anyone would miss her.

"And that's a dumb choice," Prompto said, a little more harshly than he'd wanted to, especially with her sounding the way she did just then, but he also felt that if he didn't be harsh about it, she'd never get it through her stubborn little skull. "Becaues then both of us wind up dead, and what good does that do anybody? And don't even act like it wouldn't even matter if you died, either, okay? Because a lot of people love you, too, and, believe me, it's not like the world just forgets. I lived through that aftermath, I know what it did to everyone. I"m starting to forget, it's all sort of fading on me, but I still feel surprised that Owen didn't just punch my light's out for it the moment he saw me, for crying out loud! And I wouldn't have blamed him for it at all, either! I kinda want to punch myself out for it!"

Yes. Punch. Present tense. For something a future version of himself allowed to happen that might not even actually happen anymore.

She flinched at his tone and then, really, his words just made her want to keep flinching.

It wasn't that Nina didn't value her own life--she did; she liked living--but it was hard to wrap her mind around the idea of her being as wanted as other people were. She loved Greenhill and New Leaf Academy and Lady Teresa and Lord Shin and Miss Emilia and everyone but they'd never been family. She'd been a burden, really, one to be taught and trained and raised until she could do something to help, so that she wouldn't be a burden.

"You dying doesn't help anyone either," she protested. "Not for me, or for Vette, or for Noctis or Gladio or Ignis either! So, so it's not fair to say that it's only me, who isn't allowed to die!"

"Yeah, well," said Prompto, gritting his teeth a little in frustration, feeling like they were just about to get started on going in circles over here, "I might not have a choice in the matter. You do. And that's why I wanted to talk to you about it, because...fuuuuuck, Nina, it doesn't have to be like that. It shouldn't have to be like that. I don't want it to be like that, and I know you don't, either!"

No matter how much she seemed to inexplicably want to fight him about it...

Because he was being really stupid about the idea of her being willing to die for him!

Now, though, she was seizing on something else, because it was true, if they starting going around in circles about who could die for who and who was allowed to die for who, they'd never, ever get anywhere or come to an agreement.

"You do have a choice in the matter!" she insisted, leaning forward. "It doesn't have to be like that for you either! You... you said that you were going to d-die," no, she was still going to trip over that word in relation to him, when talked about as a sure thing, "but that was......... if you're sick, can't we find a way to fix that?"

Could they please, please, please find a way to fix that?

"Like, I know that's not what you want me to promise, and all I can promise is I'll be careful, I really will," she said earnestly. "But... but can't we look for a cure for you, before you..."

"I don't....think it's that simple," Prompto admitted quietly, shaking his head. "I think...if it was, then it wouldn't still be an issue in a future where I have access to literally tons of different realities and universes with countless different magic and medical advances and healing techniques."

Some things were just...defective beyond repair, because, apparently, some things just weren't built to last...

Prompto pressed his lips together against the building swell of tears that he'd thankfully had plenty of practice forcing down every time he let himself think about it, and tried to steer things back on task.

"And I guess...I guess that's all I can ask, is that you just...know. And you be careful, and that you don't just throw yourself into something because you don't think it'll matter, because it will matter, it does matter, and don't try to fight me on it when I tell you something's too dangerous or I don't want you going, it's not anything against you, it's just that I'm going to be worried, I'm going to be going into everything wondering if this is when something finally happens that we can't ever take back. And I was...part of me was really wondering if it would just be better if, like, you know, we just...didn't talk any more or anything, because then you'll never have to be in that sort of situation at all, but then Thursday happened, and..."

He sniffled a little, tried to swallow down the lump in this throat, but it wasn't going anywhere, and he shrugged, tried chasing it all away with a faint smile. "We're pretty much stuck with each other now. Unbreakable, right?"

Said the sad, already broken boy.

There... there was so much she could say to that, to all of it, even to the ugly, horrifying idea that she'd almost been discarded, like she wasn't useful, like she could just be tossed aside..............

But, no, that wasn't what he was saying, was it? It was because he valued her that he'd wanted to...............

Nina set aside her milkshake, her hands cold and damp from the condensation (she had forgotten she'd been holding it, this entire time) and flung herself at Prompto.

She needed a hug but, also, she was sure that he needed one, even more than she did.

And that? That was a good call. A hug was a very good call right then, and Prompto was going to take that hug, and he was goingto hug Nina back, and he tried to chase away Owen's growl still in his head about how he should just stay away from her, because that was a different Owen and a different Prompto and a different future, hopefully, and so he was just going stick with the hug. He tried to think of something to say, something funny and stupid to lighten up the mood a little, and all he could think of was a pretty lame, "Hey, hey, watch the milkshake," with a chuckle and a squeeze meant to show that he really didn't care about that milkshake, anyway.

Nina's own giggle was pretty weak, and she wasn't going to let go of him, but she did manage to retort to that with, "You can just make me another."

Because, please, now that she knew he could make milkshakes as if she wasn't going to take full advantage of that.

"And... and you said I hadn't known, in that other future. And we're unbreakable. So I'm going to find a way to cure you."

Because, obviously, he was terrible at studying. Nina was much, much better at it. He must have missed something.

"Let it be known," said Prompto, snorting despite himself, "...and let it never be forgotten...that that is a much better and acceptable way of saving my sorry ass than jumping out in front of daemon swords."

Because seriously.

"I would have thought it worth it," Nina said, confident in her judgement of this other, older, deader her. Present her thought it was fairly worth it too, but she knew better than to say that.

Nina pulled away from him, but not for long and not far--just enough so that, instead of sitting across from each other, she could sit next to him.

"But, because you care, and because you've asked me to be careful," she said softly, "I'll look into the other way of saving you more. But... but that means you'd need to tell me, what you could........."

"...what I'm going to get sick with," Prompto finished, after drawing in a deep breath. "Right."

He had planned to dodge that topic, of course. But...

"I guess you'll need to know that, huh? If you're going to try to find a way to stop it."

He was quiet for a moment, though, brow furrowed in thought, since he really hadn't expected to cross the 'tell your best friends you're just the experimental clone of a madman that was never intended to exist outside of a laboratory' bridge quite yet. Sighing, he tilted his head back for a moment, looking up at the ceiling as if maybe that might miraculously hold the answer, and then his head rolled to the side a little, glancing over at her.

"I can't really remember what I've told you, if I've told you," or if she'd gone and figured it out all on her own, "but you know I'm adopted, right? I wasn't actually even born in Insomnia. Or Lucis, even. I was born in Niflheim. You know...that's...the bad guys..."

Nina had known he was adopted, but the rest of that was new to her.

She hesitated.

"That doesn't mean you're bad, though," she said quietly, "though I know people blame children from enemy countries for things all the time. So... so I can see why you'd keep that a secret."

With the amount of war that her world was embroiled in... yes, Nina knew that good and well.

"Yeah..." Prompto looked away again for a moment to build up his courage to go into the next part.

"And then....there's this." He reached across himself to push back one of the leather straps that he always wore with his gloves, then held out his wrist of Nina to see the neatly tattooed barcode there. "I always thought it was just, you know, something they did to people when they were born there, to keep track of of them, stuff like that. That always seemed to make sense to me, that seemed like the sort of thing they would do. I always wondered if it meant anything more than that, though. Did it, like, I don't know, designate me as a sort of soldier? If I hadn't been slipped out of the Empire, would I have been in their army? Would I already just some faceless cannon fodder dead in a field somewhere by now? I've heard that they do weird stuff to their soldiers, too, subject them to all sorts of experiements, so that they're barely even human anymore, but, you know, we're at war, you never really know if any of that's true or if it's just...scary stories you tell kids or kids tell themselves, trying to scare each other about the big bad evil Nifs..."

He couldn't look at it anymore. He drew his wrist back, shuffled the leather strap back in place to cover it again.

"But I know now. It is true. And...it's actually...it's actually a whole lot worse."

Edited 2019-05-25 23:41 (UTC)

This was one of those times where Nina really wished that she better understood how a lot of modern things worked. She knew what barcodes were for, of course, but maybe if she understood their history a bit better, she'd.......

For now, all she could do was memorize the numbers and letters. That, at least, she didn't have to understand to be able to do. 05953234 and N-iP01357 were seen, committed to memory and then tucked away as she listened to what he was saying.

Nina reached out to brush his arm with her fingers, wanting to comfort him. Worse than being made a solider? Worse than being subjected to a whole lot of experiments?

She kept her mouth shut, for once, and just listened, being there for him.

Prompto almost wished she had said something; this was...hard, talking about it, having to actually hear the words come out of his mouth, words that took all of his worst fears and nightmares as a child and blew them up to something almost beyond reasoning, beyond nightmares.

"I'm..." he started, then stopped, tried again. "They were...are...making people. Human clones, in their magitek research facilities. People they could just...do whatever they wanted to, because it didn't matter, because they could just, you know, make more, they weren't really people, they were just...clones. They didn't matter. And they were....using...daemons. Trying to create some...super daemon-human hybrid. And they marked those clones with barcodes..." His lifted his hand again, weakly, and let it fall back down again. "Like mine.

"And the technology's not perfect," he added, quickly, as if to move as swiftly away from that detail and get right to the point as quickly as possible. "It usually didn't matter, either, because, you know, they're just supposed to be experimental, you don't need them to live very long, you're planning on getting all up in their DNA and changing it anyway, they probably never even had one live as long as...as I...do...but it turns out, the cells weren't meant to last, they just start...breaking down....they're...not like a normal person's cells..."

"But they're not breaking down yet," Nina said softly, her thoughts whirling through possibilities, sorting out and discarding and trying to figure out what she could do to help that but....... the Prompto, right here and now was more important. "You're not breaking down yet. You're not some thing. You're Prompto."

That was really the most important thing.

"Your origins matter only because looking at them mean we'll have a better chance to cure you. It's the same way doctor's like to know the medical history of a patients' family. Where you come from and how you came to be, that matters, but they're not you."

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