hashtag_chocobro | Room 303; Late Thursday Morning [04/18].

Entry tags:

Room 303; Late Thursday Morning [04/18].

Right. Classes were done for the semester for Prompto, his room wasn't covered in ketchup anymore, he was mostly planning on sticking around for graduation because, duh, obviously he wasn't going to miss his girlfriend graduating (although at the same time, no, please don't, like, ohgods, what was going to even happen now?), but he wondered if he should stick around for the whole week before then, or, like, head back home for training early, get in more work, take a break to come back for the weekend, and then back to Insomnia again until the start of the next semester. That...was easily the best plan, he felt, and he knew going back and forth wasn't much of a problem for him. He'd have to make sure it worked with Noct, though, and, in the meantime, he'd just hit the shooting range here as much as he could, get in some work here before really hitting the ground running with the boyos.

He still felt pretty antsy about everything, though, to feel entirely comfortable getting behind a gun right now. But he figured some mindless video games would be a good way to clear his mind, and it was actually working pretty well before his phone started buzzing to alert him to a new text message.

From Noct.

U OK?

Amazing how just three letters could fill a person with such a firm and distinct sense of dread and forebodding.

yeah. y?

Prompto did not like the stretch of time that existed before a response came in.

Got a message yesterday from one of your friends saying you had a real bad weekend. 'Tragically rough' she said.

Well. That definitely helped Prompto get an idea of exactly which supposed friend had gone and sent messages back home, and was just going to let his avatar die a horrible bloody, fiery death right now while he tried to figure out exactly what he thought about that.

She said she'd like to come visit, too, Noctis contined, that your hoes need to meet your bros...

she SAID that????????

Murder. So much murder, Nina. Like, literally, all the murder.

Yeah, she did. You think you'll bring them with you over the break? We can make arrangements.

No. That was a big, fat, emphatic no, one he hoped Noct could feel through the phone. Not this time. Too much work to do. And i'll explain everything later promise. But i think i might head out tomorrow after work, if that's cool. i'll have to come back for graduation but...

He took a long moment, debating on whether or not to include the next part.

I think I really just need to be home for a bit.

The swiftness of the reply was almost as encouraging as the reply itself: Whatever you need, Prompto.

Thanks, buddy.

And he wasn't going to get all teary eyed, he wasn't going to change his mind and head to the portalocity office right then and there, he was going to just go back to his video games and blow the shit out of some stuff, before heading out to the shooting range and blowing the shit out of some stuff there. And then cuddle all the puppies tomorrow, followed by whole weeks of blowing the shit out of some stuff back home.

Perfect plan, really.

It was going to be okay.

[[ I am clearly taking advantage of my day off while I can. door and post are open! ]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"It's not okay," she said, making no move to, well, move. "Why wouldn't I understand? Because you don't want them to not like you? I get that."

She'd, like, die if Lady Teresa and Lord Shin had no more use for her. And that wasn't nearly as dramatic or metaphorical as it was usually. After a moment's hesitation, she figured, what the hell, maybe it would help him to know that.

"If I died," which, well, that was a cheerful way to start things off, "only you and Vette would miss me for me. That's it. That's all. Like, Sidon, yeah, he'd miss me, but I'm pretty sure he'd miss almost anyone he's talked to once or twice too. Maybe that's a disservice to him, but the point is, you and Vette? Are it."

So, that was a start.

"But, like, when it comes to work... when it comes to home, it's all about what I can do for Lady Teresa and Lord Shin. I'm useful to them, so they keep me around, they praise me, they need me. Do they actually care about me for me? I don't know. I, like, hope so, but I don't know and I'll probably never know. But... I don't know," she took a step back from him, clasping her hands behind her back, "like, if you're going to call someone your friend, shouldn't they... be that?"

"Well...." said Prompto, after a long time to process all that, folding his arms in front of him, "yeah, obviously, but, I mean, if all that you just said is true, then you know that sometimes, you don't really have a choice. You kind of take what you can get. Which obviously you don't get, because you, like, literally discounted Sidon because...because what? He's friends with everyone? So that means he'd be less sad about you dying? You know that's bullshit. Is that what this conversation's gonna turn into, which one of us would have the most pathetic funeral?"

"That's not what I was saying and I would hope you know that," she said, stung. "What I meant is that, yeah, Sidon's great and everything, but he's not you or Vette. If I'm having troubles or if I'm sad or something, I'm going to go find either you or her. He's great. Sabine's great. I like Lana just fine. But you two know me best. Sidon and Sabine and Lana and everyone else, I want them to see me only at my best."

She shifted, uncomfortable with the way this conversation had turned.

"And you and Vette haven't seen me at my worst either but… I feel like, if it happened, it'd be okay. Maybe. That… that we'd still be friends. I, like, hope so. I don't know about everyone else. So, I guess, maybe I just… I get that they're your bros. But I guess I don't get how you can love them so fiercely and not have just a little more trust that they love you at least a bit back." Nina looked down, with a short laugh. "Well, like, I guess I get that too because it's not like I always trust you and Vette too, but… I don't know."

She was sad, now.

Prompto sucked in a deep breaht, arms still folded, trying to think of how he could ever possibly explain to anyone alll the messed up tangle of self-doubt that was in his head. Possibly thinking of a way to try to get out of it. Then let out that breath in realizing that it was a bit too late for that.

"I just can't take anything like that for granted, Nina," he said. "You can't....you don't even know, how extremely lucky I am to be where I am. I'm no one, Nina. Less than no one. But I've earned a spot. And I have keep earning it. I'm not going to just throw all away."

"I never said anything about throwing anything away," she said, frowning at him. "I want you to have all your friends."

Both his bros and his hoes!

"I just…"

Nina shook her head, thinking about what to say to that. She wanted to argue that he wasn't nothing. That he mattered, just as he was, because he was him, but that argument wouldn't work on her and… she didn't think it would work on him either.

"Look… I'm sorry if I've made things worse for you back home," she said, finally. "If I did, I didn't mean to."

Her hands were clasped together so tightly that they ached. Nina hated this, that he felt he had to earn friendship. Respect, a spot, even acknowledgement, those things she understood having to earn. But friendship was precious precisely because it was supposed to be freely given.

"Is there anything I can do to help make up for that? Make it… I don't know, easier for you to keep that spot?"

And the funny thing was, if Nina had somehow found a way to get this conversation to Noctis, he would listen to it and have no idea what Prompto was even talking about.

But there was no room for logic when it came to crippling self-doubt.

"Just....I don't know," he said after another long moment to try to sort through all of this. "Maybe just...butt out?" Tall order for Nina, he knew that, but seriously, what else was he supposed to say? "Look, I know you were just trying to help, but did you even think about what that conversation was even going to sound like? 'Oh, hey, Prompto, so what was up about that weekend?' 'Oh, yeah, you know, just some future kid of mine showing up from a future where it's possible you guys are all dead, NBD, lol, whatevs!' That's kind of a conversation that shouldn't be forced on me, you know? And it's cool that you, like, want to get to know them and meet them and stuff, it really is, but it's just not a good time. Yet. It's not that I'm trying to hold out on anyone or anything like that, but I just want to feel a little more confident about where I stand before I start shaking things up, y'know?

"It's, like...you didn't trust me," he added, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck again. "You're all talk about being such good friends and all that, and then you don't even trust me to be able to handle my own shit. You go behind my back and get Noctis involved, when this is one-hundred percent the sort of thing he doesn't need to worry about. Or Ignis. Or Gladio. Or you, for that matter."

See, and from everything Prompto had said about Noctis, that was the sort of reaction Nina would expect from Noctis.

"I'm going to worry about it anyway," Nina said, since that was... the easiest part about all of that, where everything he said hurt. "You're my friend. I care about you. If your future is potentially going to be horrifically terrible then I'm going to want to help."

But this conversation was telling Nina that, really, if she needed his help on anything, maybe she wouldn't ask him. If he, like, found out she needed help with the stuff she was going behind Vette's back to work on... well, she wasn't going to tell him now.

"I didn't say much to them," she said, since he made it sound like she had. Nina dug out her phone. "You can see the message if you want. It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I want to help. As for mentioning the visit that..."

Nina blew out her cheeks.

"That wasn't so we could, like, babysit you or anything. Or because I don't trust you. It was partly because I'm curious about your world but also because, like, Vette and I were talking about you and your bros and how... ilke, maybe you were ashamed of us or something, since we--mostly Vette--haven't even met them through, like, when you're gaming. I mean, I don't game, but Vette does, and that just... stuck, I guess."

And... really... none of this conversation was making her feel like he wasn't ashamed of her.

"It's fine," Prompto said, shaking his head, waving a hand as if to shoo the phone away. "I don't need to see it." Though all he was thinking now was bros and hoes. "And it's not that I"m ashamed of you guys or anything, because I'm definitely not. Why the hell would I be ashamed? Most of the time, when I go home, I'm working, too, y'know? Training. That's what I'm going to be doing these next two weeks; I wouldn't have any time to really just have fun with you guys and show you around or anything. And then there's the whole fact that there aren't exactly non-humans running around Insomnia, too. You'd be fine, obviously, but Vette...."

He shook his head again.

"You guys'll meet 'em, I promise. It's just gotta be the right time, okay? It's not about you guys, it's about me."

He just needed a little more standing with those guys. A little more confidence. So it didn't just end up being everyone realizing all at once he was pretty much garbage.

Oh, Prompto.

"But we didn't know it was about you," Nina said, though she was relieved that he wasn't ashamed of them. "Like, we just knew you talk about them all the time and that if you were talking to them, you'd end the conversation or the game if we wandered by. So, eventually, that just wound up with us going 'is it us?' because we couldn't think of what else it could be."

Because they both also had fairly terrible self-esteem when it came to things like that. And insecure paranoia was a sport all three of them participated in to an extent.

Tucking her phone away, she glanced at him sideways. "And I didn't know you'd be working the whole time you were away either. I thought it was, like, a visit. Not like when I tell Vette I'm gone for a job."

Prompto's face went a little red at that first part. "Yeah, no," he said, "definitely not you guys."

Just a deep-seeded terror that opening that door would all but immediately dispell the mystifying illusion he'd managed to maintain here where people seemed to think he was someone actually worth knowing.

"And, I mean, it is a visit, kind of," he offered. "But it's going to be mostly training. Some much needed, long overdue training, really, if I'm honest. It's going to be good for me. I think....I think I really need it."

Nina nodded slowly, considering that.

"Um, like, can I ask why you think you really need it?????"

Prompto thought about just being truthful, and then he thought of a way to dress it up to make it sound better, and then he realized that there was really no other way to say it.

"Because I've been lazy and complacent here and I really need to step up my game," he said. "Especially if there's something really bad on the horizon. And it's not just that I'm barely good enough to hold my own. It's also that Iggy and Gladio are already Crownsguard, practically have been slated for those spots since they were born, and I'm just some guy who's only been around for a couple of years. Got some catching up to do, you know? And I can train here all I want, I can train with everyone here, too....you, Vette, Yang, Sidon....but it'll only get me so far, because we're supposed to be a team, Nina, a full unit. So I've gotta put in my time with them if I'm ever going to hope to be....half as good as I need to be."

"That makes sense," she said, leaning forward a bit and finding that, yeah, her smile, while not as brilliant as usual didn't feel wrong either. It felt right. "Like, honestly, Prompto. You should have just said that's why you were so worried about keeping your spot."

Did it really have anything to do with friendship when he had to earn his spot on a team? She didn't think so, except, perhaps that it was friendship that had gotten him the chance to try for the team in the first place.

"So, like, while you're there you need to work on working with them, but here--you can work to make yourself stronger and more qualified and, if you want... I'm sure people here will help train you or train with you. Even if, like, it's just a matter of keeping you company while you study." Nina was a champ at research, Prompto.

Yeah. Sure, Nina. That was totally the reason why he was worried and the only reason. Yup. Uh-huh. Sure.

He could try to run with that.

Prompto gave a faint grin back. "If it's anything to do with keeping me company while I"m studying, you're definitely out. I wouldn't get any work done."

It was, at least, a reason that made sense, darnit!

"I don't know what you're talking about," Nina said loftily. "I grew up in a school!!!!!!! I'm good at studying!!!!!!!!!"

"You might be," Prompto allowed, "but I'm sure not, and you," he pointed a finger at her, "have distraction written all over you."

And trouble.

A whole ton of that there, too.

"I would never distract you," she said, with total earnestness which was ruined almost immediately by her giggling.

Because yes, yes she would. Or he'd get bored and start talking to her and that way would lead to a lot of distraction and trouble.

"I can run with you, if you'd like," she offered instead. "Vette would be more help with your guns, I think, though since I'm more of a close combat sort of person." Or a fry them with magic sort of person. Nina was pretty adaptable but she didn't have any long-range weapons. "But then, if you're okay with... everything, for now, I guess we could just... ask her, if you wanted?????????? Like, we could still do lunch???????????? The three of us???????????"

Well, he and Yang had sort of a running thing going on already, but Prompto wasn't so inept as to go and mention that just as things were starting to finally turn back around. Buf if she was leaving after she graduated...

"I'm sure we'll figure something out," he allowed, his grin gaining a little more warmth and a whole lot of relief. "But figuring out lunch first sounds good. I mean, if you'd still want to..."

Yeahno, for the love of god, best not to mention that.

Nina had, overall, been very good about not opinioning about Yang and his relationship with her but, really, talking about that would only make it worse. She knew her crush was horribly unrequited but that would just be mean.

In her own way, Nina was doing her very best to be considerate of his dating life while mourning her own feelings for him.

She brightened.

"Yes!!!!!!!!!! I still want to!!!!!!!! Especially since you're leaving tomorrow oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Well, I am going to be back!" Prompto reminded her, but he laughed, because it felt so much better to just laugh and not talk about all that stuff anymore and, gods, he felt exhausted. "But I can totally see why you'd want to celebrate not having to see this mug for a good solid week."

"Rude!!!!!!!! I wouldn't celebrate that!!!!!!!!!!!!"

But she was laughing too.

"Maybe, like, I'll grab Vette and we'll go on a totally rad vacation and send you all the selfies of us having loads of fun, though, so you don't forget us!!!!!!!!!!!"

Because that was, in fact, a horrible niggling worry of hers.

"Like I could ever forget you guys even if I tried," Prompto snorted, and the nice thing about that one was, even if they weren't there physically, it was definitely true that they'd always be there in his heart, even if it hurt like hell.

But that did give him an idea. "If you do," he told her, "I expect my phone to pretty much die from all the selfies you sent me." And then his grin sharpened a little. "Want I should send some of my training? When, of course, we're not working on super specail secret Crownguard stuff, anyway."

"Is there super, secret Crownguard stuff??????????" Because, well, Nina loved secrets. "And oh my gosh, yes, you have to send pictures!!!!!!!!!!!! As many as you can!!!!!!!!!!!"

A beat.

"And, like, pictures of your bros too!!!!!!! Have they seen pictures of us??????? If so, that's totally unfair!!!!!!!!!!!"

If there was super secret Crownsguard stuff, Prompto was pretty sure it wouldn't take his pictures for Nina to know about it.

"Yeah, well," said Prompto, "life's not fair. Noct so happens to be my most dedicated photo viewer out there. But don't worry; I'll try to make up for lost time. I'm sure they'll have objections, but half the time, they don't even notice me taking the pictures when I do."

He was that good. He could take pictures of himself mid-battle. It was logic-defying.

Edited 2019-04-19 01:45 (UTC)

The first time Nina set foot in Insomnia she was basically going to wander off the moment everyone's eyes were off of her and go prying, why yes. And shopping, probably, because that was also fun.

"Life should be fair," she said, grinning, "at least, in my favour!!!!!!!!!!"

That wasn't fair at all, Nina.

"How do they not notice you taking pictures though???????????"

The shopping would be insane, Nina, Prompto could not even begin to tell you....

"~~Totally logical game mechanics, really~~ I'm just that good," said Prompto, who smirked faintly as he held up his phone, featuring a quick snapshot of Nina that he'd literally just taken.

It wasn't a great shot, no, but the point was that he'd gotten it.

Nina blinked.

"That's... that's really impressive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Also a crying shame that he wasn't spy material.

Even with that skill, the majority of those attempted spy photos would be either useless or just awkward close-ups of bushes.

But Prompto grinned, shrugged his shoulders. "Gotta be good at something, right? How about we go see what kind of shots I can get of this so-called lunch..."

"You're supposed to eat lunch, not take pictures of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nina laughed. "But I'll race you to the scrapyard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She was going to steal a head start on that too, bolting out the door.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Room 303; Late Thursday Morning [04/18].

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject